I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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