is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
