Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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