I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize