this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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