it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
