there's paper in my vomit.
I think I won the penis lottery.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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