can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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