I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
