life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
