I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
