sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
