Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
