Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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