I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
