she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
