capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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