I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
