DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize