Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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