Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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