don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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