haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Bring me that man meat
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
