I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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