Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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