i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
