Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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