I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
