I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She bit a glass in half.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
