I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Farmville is her only friend.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
