brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is glitter all over my balls
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