Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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