So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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