I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
