Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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