Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
