I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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