just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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