Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
