her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
