Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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