come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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