I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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