His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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