hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
