We named our party play list daddy issues
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Never underestimate the power of titties
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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