can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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