I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
