FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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