Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
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