New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
