Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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