Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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